dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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