I want to make a zoo with you.
I could make wine with my vomit
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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