all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize