he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize