hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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