the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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