I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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