Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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