I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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