theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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