Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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