Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize