I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot