i just google imaged poop.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
