Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You were trust falling into bushes
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize