My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
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I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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