the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
bring money and cleavage
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Randomize
