he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
