I just saw a hot homeless man
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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