Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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