o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
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I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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