11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
