Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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