ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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