He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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