bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Terrible idea I love it
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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