I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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