Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...