dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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