I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
well you can't waste a boner
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize