i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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