Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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