I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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