Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?