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Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.