Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.