How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.