just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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