U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize