Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
