Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
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don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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