I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize