UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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