So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
vagina is talking i cant
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She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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