Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
