Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.