I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.