Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.