I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??