I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.