Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
