I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i will never coherently bang her
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
