Are we in a gay sports bar?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
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In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
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Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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