i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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