So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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