high people should be assigned attendants
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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